Care For The Mental Health Of Left-Behind Children

Why do children feel revengeful? Research has shown that there are no more than the following reasons: one is that parents express their dissatisfaction to their children too much, especially venting their negative emotions on the child, when the child's external performance fails to meet the parents' psychological expectations. 

This kind of venting will be more obvious; the second is that parents overly suppress the child's status in the family, they think that the child can only be obedient at home. Which seriously hurts the child's self-esteem. They always excuse themselves for ignoring their children's management for one reason or another, thus causing the children's revenge. 

The child wants to do it, in revenge for the parent's indifference to him. The case we are going to introduce today is an extension of the third reason: because the parents are divorced and work outside for a long time, ignoring the loneliness and loneliness of the children who stay at home, causing resentment in the children's hearts, revenge on the parents with negative performance neglect of oneself.

Case details

When it comes to children's education, the most feared thing is that there will be problems at the psychological level of children. Among the psychological problems, revenge is the most serious. According to research data, the following three educational methods are the most serious:

1. Transfer The Responsible Party And Mislead The Child's Cognition

For example, when the child accidentally falls or bumps, the parents can't wait to rush forward and hug the child, coaxing the child and saying, "Be good, baby, don't cry, the table is broken, mom helps you set the table! "The original act of distressing the child misled the child with a wrong perception, that is, "I hit the table, it's not my fault, it's the table's fault." Then the child will not reflect on himself when he makes a mistake in the future. blame others.

2. Condone The Fault Of The Child

For example, when a child is playing, it is inevitable that when he hits someone or even hurts someone, the child must be unconscious and unintentional, but as a parent, if you just laugh it off or downplay it, then you are actually Condone violent behavior by children. If not caught and corrected, children will grow up to laugh at their own faults.

3. I Usually Like To Make Some Jokes That Let Children Hit Their Parents Or Other Elders

For example, some parents always like to instigate and condone their children to beat and scold their father, mother, or other elders to amuse themselves in a joking state. Which will secretly help the child form a wrong mentality, and the child will think that this action is correct. From now on, beating father and mother became commonplace.

Parents have good intentions, but the consequences of such intentions are serious. The majority of parents can not but think deeply.

Marlene, the classmate of class 3, grade 6, is a girl who is twelve years old this year. The parents have been divorced for three years, and the custody is in the hands of the father. The father has been working outside for a long time, and Marlene has been left with his grandparents. I remembered how my parents loved me so much when I was a child, and I had to rely on myself in everything. 

Since I was going to school and my parents sent me to my grandparents, Marlene felt that my parents didn't love her anymore, and my heart was always empty. Yes, the resentment grows day by day. Especially when she was in the third grade, her father stopped letting her mother go home, and Marlene was even more convinced that her father and mother used to say that they loved her were false and deceitful.

So Marlene began to become decadent.

At home, she no longer listens to her grandparents, and even contradicts her grandparents at every turn, ranging from throwing things down, or not eating or going to school.

In school, I often find trouble with my classmates, often quarrel with my classmates, and sometimes get involved. There were several times when Marlene grabbed it with one hand for a small matter, leaving marks of her scratching on the face of her classmates. The teacher criticized and educated her, and she was plausible, and the resistance was quite strong.

Academically, the performance is also very poor, and the academic performance is not satisfactory.

When the headteacher asked her to chat, Marlene was not ambiguous, and directly pointed the finger at her parents, "It's all my parents, who asked them to divorce, who told them not to want me, I hate them, I just want to In this way, I will take revenge on them." The teacher was speechless. 

At a young age, out of blaming and resentment towards his parents. He would bet on his future and destiny to retaliate against his parents for not caring about him. Wouldn't it be tragic? When parents learn that their behavior has caused such a big change in their children's spiritual world, can they not feel pain? It's not too late to make amends. I hope more parents of Marlene can stop their losses in time!

Conclusion

The case of Marlene is thought-provoking, but it is by no means an isolated case. With the deepening of my country's reform and opening-up policy, the phenomenon of left-behind children, especially in rural areas, has become a very common phenomenon. 

Because the parents are not around for a long time, the children's heart is empty, psychologically lonely, resentful to their parents, and has a very serious mental illness such as revenge. Therefore, as a parent, it should be paid great attention. 

First of all, parents should create a harmonious family environment for their children. Even if they are busy with work, they should try their best to make time to play with their children and read books together, so as to create a more relaxed family atmosphere. 

Secondly, in the process of educating children, We must pay attention to methods and methods, do not scold and scold children easily, set a good example in front of children, and use practical actions to educate and guide children.

Third, we must guide children to learn to empathize, learn to tolerate, and learn to understand; fourth, we must teach children to face setbacks correctly, don't just think about revenge.

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