How To Develop Children's Self-Control?

The American psychologist, Professor Angela Duckworth, conducted a comprehensive observation of children through the national spelling bee. At the same time, he also observed many outstanding people in the United States, and he came to a conclusion. Self-control is one of the important factors affecting the future of children, and self-control is not innate.

The American Psychological Association also shows that children's self-control affects the achievement of their goals.

In fact, it is not difficult to imagine that the same student can control himself, finish his homework first, and then consider playing and watching TV. Another child, always unable to control himself, wants to play with his mobile phone before his homework is completed. Of these two children, who are more likely to become a talent?

Some parents like to say, "My kids are actually very smart, but they're just unsettled."

In fact, the child is lack self-control!

As psychologist Angela Duckworth said, self-control is not innate, and often requires parental intervention. Moreover, the cultivation of self-control also has a critical period.

3-6 Years Old, A Critical Period For The Development Of Children's Self-Control, Parents Should Not Miss It

If a little baby who hasn't arrived at the age of 2 can't control himself, then it doesn't matter, after all, he is still young.

But if the child is already 6 years old and the child has no self-control, then to a certain extent, it means that the parents are dereliction of duty in the discipline of the child.

Children, when they start to recognize themselves, are 3 years old. At this time, it is the best time to cultivate self-control, until 6 years old. Relatively speaking, it is still relatively easy to cultivate.

So what does nurturing children's self-control include?

For example, teach children what "delayed gratification" is;

For example, giving children the ability to control negative emotions such as anger, anger, anxiety, and fear;

For example, to alleviate bad behaviors such as laziness, impulsiveness, and procrastination...

At the age of 3-6 years, when children are willing to communicate and change easily, they can cultivate self-control. Then, when children enter primary school and enter adolescence, parents can manage much better!

For example, many children go into an elementary school to do homework and procrastinate, but your children finish their homework before going to play.

For example, many children have bad tempers when they reach adolescence, but your children are willing to sit down and communicate with you, and they are not easy to be impulsive in school.

Many problems in children's adolescence are caused by the lack of guidance and education before school age.

How To Develop Children's Self-Control? Simple And Practical Training Methods To Share With Parents

Here, is the focus of this article, the dry goods are here!

Method 1: After The Age Of 2, You Can Start "Talking About Conditions" With Your Child

Conditioning is an important training method for delayed gratification. Just like the marshmallow experiment we are familiar with.

But what parents need to pay attention to is that the satisfaction in "delayed gratification" is mostly material satisfaction, not the satisfaction of love between parents and children.

For example, the child usually does not eat snacks in the morning but eats snacks in the afternoon. Suddenly, the child wants to eat snacks in the morning. Then parents can start to talk to their children about conditions: "If you add snacks in the morning, there will be no snacks in the afternoon, and you can only listen to 1 bedtime story at night. But you still eat snacks in the afternoon, then the mother decides to have more in the evening. Rewarding you with a bedtime story, that's 2!"

There are two important details that need to be paid attention to when discussing conditions with children.

The first is timing details.

For younger children, they have no concept of specific time words such as a while, 2 o'clock, 10 minutes later, etc. If the time is not clear, then this condition is invalid.

When parents set the time, the time is short, you can use the hourglass, and the time is long, you can use the time that the child can know, such as before breakfast and before going to bed.

The second is the reward details.

This reward is different from the punishment and reward after the child makes a mistake. This reward must be "extra" to the child, otherwise, the child will feel that the parents are blackmailing themselves.

Method 2: After The Age Of 2, You Can Work With Your Child To Customize "Clear" Rules And Plans

Have you ever seen a kid rolling around outside the mall?

It is normal to slap and roll once, but to slap and roll, every time means that there is a problem with the parent's discipline. Because this is the result of parental rules and plans that are not clearly customized.

Just like Easter eggs, we have never had trouble with us because of shopping, because we have long-established a rule: every time I go to the supermarket, Easter eggs can only buy one thing.

This is a very "clear" rule. If it is replaced with "no random shopping every time you go to the supermarket", then this is an unclear rule, which is difficult for children to follow. After all, random buying as understood by children and random buying as understood by parents are not the same thing.

Speaking of plans.

After the child goes to kindergarten, getting up, brushing his teeth and washing his face, etc., are easy to dawdle. What we made for Easter Eggs is to get up at 7:00 every morning, not every morning.

Whether it is a rule or a plan, when it is formulated, it must be "clear" so that children can implement it better. Moreover, such rules and plans are not recommended too many, 3-5 important rules are enough.

Method 3: Around The Age Of 3, Train Children On Go And No-Go

This little game is also very simple.

Prepare some small cards. You can prepare more go cards, go1, go2, etc. On each go card, you can write some actions that children can do, such as jumping, squatting, kissing mother, etc. A no-go card with the words "The wooden man doesn't move for 8 seconds".

Regardless of whether the child draws a go or no-go card, he must complete the prescribed actions according to the above rules. If he does something wrong, or the wooden man moves before the time is up, he will punish the child, dance, or tell a story. Can.

Easter Egg Dad's Message

Developing your child's self-control as early as possible will allow your child to make fewer wrong choices in the future.

For parents, it is just a few years of careful education. But for children, it is a lifetime of self-control!

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