An Important Ability That Should Be Taught To Children

The school organizes Mid-Autumn-themed class meetings, and it is recommended that children bring snacks to share. We prepared some snacks and fruits for the children. As a result, when she came back from school, the snacks she brought back were almost intact. So I asked her what was going on, why did she bring all the snacks back, didn’t share them?

The child's answer at this time is: I forgot.

She ate many snacks brought by her classmates to share but forgot to take out the snacks she brought, saying that she had forgotten, which was obviously lying.

The Question Is, Why Would A Child Tell Such A Clumsy Lie?

I think twice and think that this is because the child failed to accept the true self. And accepting who you are is an important ability that we should teach our children. Only by being able to accept who you are, can you build a sound mind.

There are two opposite but correct views on encouragement and praise. One view is that more encouragement and praise should be given to children to keep them confident. The other is that children should not be praised blindly, but should be given appropriate frustration education so that children have a certain ability to resist frustration.

The reason why these two views are both right is that children's self-confidence and frustration resistance are both important. However, there is one more important thing, and that is the true state of the child.

When a child performs well, we naturally have to praise it. This not only allows the child to maintain self-confidence but also allows the child to recognize the good side of the true self. When a child does not perform well, in addition to encouraging and comforting, our more important job is to point out the child’s shortcomings and shortcomings. This is not only to allow the child to enhance his own anti-frustration ability but also to let the child recognize that the true self is not so good. one side.

There is a combination of psychological traps, loss aversion, and maintenance of inner consistency. When a person makes a mistake, under the trap of this psychological combination, he will often choose to refuse to admit the mistakes he has made or to defend his views or decisions that he knows are wrong.

As an adult, I often fall into this trap. Make a mistake and die. Many criminals, especially corrupt criminals, have no way to stop when they are greedy for the first money. It is also because of this trap.

My child has always been very generous, and I don't know why, when she sees other children bring out their own snacks, she chooses the snacks brought by hiding. But I know that when she came home to face my question, she lied because she wanted to maintain her image of being generous in front of me.

The surface reason is a psychological trap, but the deeper reason is the inability to accept the true self.

No one is perfect, each of us has a less perfect side, and all we have to do is to accept it. This sentence seems easy, but in fact, it is difficult to practice. But once it is done, a person can build a more healthy mind and thus can live in a society more calmly.

Not Humble Or Overbearing

Forcing does not allow children to accept who they are. We can only guide them slowly. This must be a long-term and patient process. This is also one of the important contents for our parents to accompany their children to grow up.

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