How To Raise Self Disciplined And Independent Children?

A good education always requires the hard work of parents. For children to stand out after the double reduction, parents must be "three unused and two things".

Three Not Used To

1. The child is addicted to mobile phones and is not used to it

Following the introduction of the double reduction policy, regulations to prevent minors from indulging in online games have also come.

After the double reduction, if the time is not properly arranged, many children will spend more time playing on mobile phones.

We often say: If you destroy a child, give him a cell phone. And the quickest way to ruin a child's grades is to let him sink into the world of mobile phones.

It is difficult for adults to control the temptation of mobile phones, let alone children with poor self-control.

Therefore, after the "double reduction", the matter of "competing" with mobile phones for children should not only be relaxed but should be more urgent.

2. The child is procrastinated and not used to it

There are also clear requirements for the amount of homework in the double reduction policy. Many children feel that there is too much time and less homework anyway, so they can write slowly. As a result, they are playing and dragging, and they don't start to do their homework until very late.

In the face of children's dullness, most parents adopt the simple and direct method of urging.

However, urging may be effective in a short time, but it is easy for children to form a dependence on urging, and excessive urging can also stimulate the child's rebellious psychology and even affect the parent-child relationship.

Children are unhappy, they procrastinate, and most of the root causes are actually lack of time planning ability.

What really determines a child's performance is not the IQ, but the child's time management.

Procrastination seems to be a minor problem, which is not only closely related to the child's schoolwork but also affects future work and social life.

Therefore, after the double reduction, parents not only cannot condone the problems of procrastination but can take advantage of the reduced workload and consciously cultivate their time management.

3. The child is not used to it

The child is loosened and the pressure is reduced. People don’t study as mentally as before, but many bad habits have emerged: it’s good to be lazy, don’t like sports, don’t sleep at night, and can’t afford it in the morning.

These bad habits don't seem to be a major problem, but the more you accumulate, the more difficult it is to develop good habits and the easier it is to bring down your child.

Children with poor academic performance do not lose in IQ, but in study habits.

The completely different learning habits also doomed these children's future direction will be completely opposite.

A child who has no good habits will be defeated by his inner desires, and will eventually spend his life in vain.

And children who are accustomed to can arrange their time in an orderly manner, do not waste any time, and have more internal drive.

There is no such thing as a born student, but it is the accumulation of good habits.

After the "double reduction", parents should guide their children to make good use of their spare time so that they can develop good learning and living habits.

Also Read: How To Educate Your Children?

Don't care

1. No matter what the child is capable of

The double reduction was implemented, and discipline training institutions were closed down.

Originally, children were supervised by teachers at school, tutors took care of them in the training to get out of class after class, and parents supervised them when they returned home. Now the children have more time to be autonomous.

If the child's independence is not strong and will not plan his spare time properly, then the gap will become bigger and bigger.

Therefore, those far-sighted parents have begun to let go of cultivating their children's independence early on.

The writer Albert Hubbard once said:

"When parents do too much for their children, the children will not do too much for themselves."

I can't see that the child suffers anything. As long as the child encounters a little difficulty, he immediately rushes forward to help them solve it plainly. It seems to love the child, but in fact, it deprives the child of the ability and motivation to solve the problem.

Embracing love that is too tight is often a hidden injury.

Every child has the right to grow up on his own. His life should go on his own, and his parents cannot replace him.

The sooner parents let go of cultivating their children's independence, the more stable their future will go.

2. No matter what the child can bear

A study shows that whether a child can successfully solve the difficulties he encounters depends more on his experience than on his level of intelligence.

Many parents feel that their children are young and do not have the ability to solve problems, so they start to make decisions for their children and help them remove all obstacles.

However, this approach is depriving the child of exercise opportunities. Over time, the child's courage to face difficulties and the ability to solve problems will also degrade.

It is inevitable that children will bump into their growth, but growth happens precisely in the process of solving difficulties.

Just as Deng Yaping said when talking about her parenting experience, “not all pressures can be avoided. Difficulties and challenges are what we must face. If we do not solve them, the problem will always be there.”

Letting children face difficulties is like planting a seed in their bodies. When they encounter difficulties in the future, the first thing they think about is not to look back at their parents, but to find a solution by themselves.

Before, an online copy of "Don't Shout Mom's Equality Treaty" went viral.

The 9 rules proposed by my mother actually have one purpose: "If you encounter a problem, please try to solve it yourself as soon as possible."

After the treaty was formally implemented, the children really called their mother a lot less often. They got used to getting up and washing, serving themselves meals, and remembering to carry a kettle and anti-mosquito liquid when they went downstairs to play.

To love children is not to be a pair of "snow shovel" parents to remove all obstacles for their children, but to let them experience it alone.

In fact, children are much stronger than we thought.

Give trust and learn to let go, and their steps will be firmer and calmer.

An independent and sound personality, the courage to take responsibility, and the ability to solve problems will eventually become the children's low-level abilities, helping them to overcome obstacles in their future life.