What Happens If You Sleep Too Late In A Separate Room With Your Child?

Whether or not children should sleep in separate rooms when they are old is a common question. Even though many parenting articles have reminded them, many parents still disagree. I feel that the child is too young and scared, and it doesn't matter much to sleep together, but in fact, "you think it's okay, but the child's psychology is quietly changing."

What happens if you don't sleep in a separate room with your child when you get older? But it's more than just "childhood shadows"

I remember when we were young, most of the parents had no concept of "sleeping in separate rooms". First, it was affected by family conditions; second, the parents' cognitive ability was not high. It is precise because of this that children have "childhood shadows left by sleeping in separate rooms", and the impact of sustainability is more than this:

Influence 1: Leaving "psychological shadows" on children

Before talking about this effect, let's talk about a little science: as children grow up, their sleep is no longer as steady as it was in infants and toddlers. There are more and more new things in the brain. They may close their eyes to recall before falling asleep, and they may not fall asleep so quickly; even if they fall asleep, they will not fall asleep very deeply. Once there is a lot of movement around them, it may cause him to wake up.

A small number of ignorant parents, always feel that "the child is asleep, the child is still young and ignorant", so they will "do some shameful things after thinking that the child is asleep". If the child does fall asleep, this effect may not be there; what if the child does not fall asleep at all? If they "know" everything you do, how much psychological shadow it will leave on their childhood.

Influence 2: Causes children's psychological tension and anxiety

As children grow up, their physical and psychological changes will change. However, parents always like to let their children live according to their own standards. For example, if they want to sleep, the child will sleep; if they wake up, the child will also wake up. This kind of thinking will lead to Children having some psychological tension and anxiety about sleeping.

Take me as a child, my father was on a business trip, and I slept with my mother. Every time she wanted to go to bed, she forced me to sleep. However, I took a nap during the day and couldn't sleep at all. As a result, my mother forced me to go to bed quickly. I didn't dare to turn over when I lay on the bed. The more I slept, the more nervous I became, and the more I slept, the more I couldn't fall asleep, it felt so uncomfortable.

Influence 3: affect sleep quality and children's independence

The older the child is, the larger the space occupied by sleeping will inevitably affect the comfort level of sleep. When the age of sleeping in a separate room is reached, it will not only affect the sleep of children, but also affect the sleep of parents, and also affect the relationship between husband and wife.

Delays in being able to sleep in separate rooms will also lead to a strong dependence on children, affecting children to become physically and psychologically independent.

When should you sleep in separate rooms? Just looking at the age of the child is not enough

When should you sleep in separate rooms? By age or by the child's mental maturity? Every time they sleep in a separate room, the child will cry, make trouble, and say they are afraid. Is it possible to postpone the time to sleep in a separate room? Let's talk about it in detail.

Recommended age: 3 years old share bed, 5 years old share room

Every child develops differently and grows up in a different environment. There is no specific statement about the specific sleeping age. The suggestion of "seating a bed at the age of 3 and a room at the age of 5" is only applicable to some children, and parents do not need to pursue "quantified" time too much.

Even if your child can't do it at this stage, it doesn't matter, if he doesn't reject you, you can let him separate the room earlier, and it doesn't matter if he rejects it later.

It's not too late to be divided before the age of 10, but there are preconditions!

If your child is particularly insecure and is particularly resistant to sleeping in separate rooms, then it doesn't matter if you are later, you can do it before the age of 10. But there is a premise: when parents sleep with older children, please keep their "bottom line" and resolutely do not do things that affect the physical and mental development of children.

Respect the child's growth and wait for a "natural signal"

Every child grows differently, some slower, some faster, but you have to believe that he is unique. For a 5-year-old child who can't sleep in separate rooms, parents don't have to worry, just wait. Just like Ma Yili's daughter, she suddenly proposed to sleep in separate rooms one day, because she learned that her classmates said she slept.

Parents should give their children time to prepare themselves. This time may be a little later than you think, but you have to believe that he can do it one day. If your child is particularly resistant to sleeping on his own, just wait and wait for them Have the ability to cope with the difficulties that must be experienced on the way to your own growth!

How to sleep in separate rooms? personal experience

Sleeping in separate rooms, like weaning, is a difficult process, but even more difficult than weaning: the process of sleeping in separate rooms will be repeated. So as parents, how can we successfully sleep in separate rooms? The following are some of the sharing of my personal experience, which I hope to help you.

From the age of 3, consciously instill the concept of "sleeping in separate rooms" in children

From the age of 3, parents can start to consciously instill the concept of "sleeping in separate rooms" and tell them:

"Our baby has grown up and is about to go to bed alone. Mom has prepared a cute little bed for you in the small room next to it, and it is filled with your favorite dolls. In the future, it will be the doll's turn to accompany the baby to sleep. But if you still want mom to sleep with you, can you sleep with mom on weekends?"

Although at this time, the child may not be able to accept it, it is agreed in advance that the child can be psychologically prepared for a certain amount of time, so that when the time comes to sleep in a separate room, it will be easier for the child to accept.

From the age of 5, let children try to "sleep in separate rooms"

From the age of 5, parents can start trying to "sleep in separate rooms" with their children:

First of all, you need to prepare a cute room with the child, toys that the child likes, and a small dim lamp to arouse the child's interest.

Then let the child choose a sleeping toy they like to enhance the child's sense of security;

Finally, hold a room-separation ceremony for the child, and tell the child: Mom's door is open. If you miss Mom, call Mom, and Mom can hear it and give the child strong backing.

For children who are not excluded, it may be possible to start the journey of sleeping in separate rooms. If there are children who are a little rejected, you can try 1-2 times a week and gradually progress; for children who are especially excluded, you can slightly delay the time to sleep in separate rooms.

From the age of 6, find a way to guide

From the age of 6, parents need to find a way to guide children who are still particularly resistant to sleeping in separate rooms. for example:

Borrowing Ma Yili's method, let the child's classmates help encourage and guide.

Coax the child to sleep before going to bed and then leave, wake up early in the morning and go to the room to accompany the child;

Let friends and relatives sleep with their children. All in all, after the age of 6, parents must find a way to encourage their children to separate rooms!