Why Do Adolescent Children Refuse To Communicate With Their Parents?

In daily life, we often hear some parents complain to their friends or neighbors that the older their children grow up, the more.

In a day, they chat with each other for no more than an hour, and each chat ends with an indifferent "um" and "oh". But on the surface, the child is still very sensible and well-behaved, but inside he is extremely rebellious.

This kind of situation is very common in parent-child communication, especially for children in adolescence, this situation is more prominent. In fact, in many cases, it is not that the child is unwilling to communicate with the parents, but the parents' communication method is wrong, causing the child to be unwilling and refuse to communicate.

Miscommunication Between Parents And Children

1. Purposeful Communication

Yesterday, when the little niece came home from school, the sister-in-law asked the little niece: "What did the school teach today? Is it difficult to learn?" The little niece told her sister-in-law all the content of the class one by one. After the sister-in-law heard it, she continued to ask whether the little niece was having a good time at school today.

The little niece's chatterbox opened at once, telling about the new friends she made at school today, the games she played ... However, the sister-in-law interrupted eagerly: "It's okay to play, but your main task now is to study, and the other things are not important, learning is the most important thing, do you know...".

As soon as these words came out, the originally pleasant chat came to an abrupt end. Many parents, like my sister-in-law, talk to their children about food, TV shows, dressing, and entertainment.

Originally, the child was elated to share his joy with the parents, but the parents have been emphasizing the importance of learning to the child, which will make the child feel that his "sharing" is not valued and end the chat hastily.

But in fact, such an " emphasis " chat has a certain purpose, and the main purpose is to instill the importance of "learning" in children. Let the children understand that they must study hard and study hard, and they will be promising when they grow up.

However, such a chat method can easily make children feel rebellious, and children will feel that they are just tool people and that parents only care about their academic performance, not their own feelings.

2. Interrogative Communication

Many parents originally wanted to care about their children, but when it comes to their children's learning, parents lose their balance. "How many points did you get in the exam this time?" "How many points did you get in each subject, and why was the score poor in that subject?" " How much did you rank in the class? " "Wait.

Many parents like to keep asking their children how they are at school with a questioning tone and make an in-depth inquiry about their children. Such inquiries are not once in a while, but once a day, and have become a daily pattern for the family.

Over time, the child's attitude towards the parents will become impatient, and the communication with the parents will also become a coping communication. This way of communication will not only make children hate parents, but also parents will not get useful information.

Parent And Child Communication Methods

1. Be A Good Listener

Every day when Temon came home from school, he would share with me what happened at school today. Who was in love with whom was discovered by the teacher, the teacher failed to answer the teacher's questions in class, the music class was very happy...

When many parents communicate with their children, the children say one sentence and ten sentences, and always eagerly interrupt the child's speech, thus destroying the child's desire to share. As a qualified parent, you should learn to listen and give your child time to speak.

During the chat, you can also have some physical interaction with the child, so that the child feels that his sharing is being listened to so that the child will want to continue chatting more.

2. Put Away Your Desire For Performance

I have a cousin who can be said to be knowledgeable in astronomy, geography, and rich in knowledge. Such an excellent person, we always thought that the parent-child relationship between her and her children must be handled properly and get along harmoniously.

However, the cousin's two children are very antagonistic to the cousin, and they don't even want to talk to the cousin. The chat with each other is more like a quarrel for winning or losing. In fact, the main problem is still the cousin, who is a parent.

Many parents like to criticize their children's views based on their own life experiences when they express their opinions and opinions. Most of the time, it is not the parents' opinions that are wrong, and the children are unwilling to listen to them.

It is precise because the parents are too right, too able to say, and know everything, that the children feel that they are very "vegetable". Children will feel that their parents are laughing at themselves, so children are reluctant to "speak".

Appropriate Delegation Of Authority

When children are in infancy, their own abilities are insufficient, and many things can only rely on the help of their parents, and they can only obey their parents' arrangements. However, as children grow up, their self-awareness will increase and their own abilities will also improve. There are many things that children can do by themselves. Although they do not do well, they still want to try.

At this time, parents cannot directly help their children make decisions because their children are young and do not understand anything. Instead, we should learn to delegate power appropriately and give children some right to choose and decide. Moreover, children can also learn to be responsible for their own choices and their own affairs through these "rights".

Parents should know that adolescent children not only have strong self-esteem but also have a strong rebellious mentality. Many times, the more parents decide everything for their children and always want to control their children, the more the children will resist. Appropriate decentralization, giving children a chance to learn and grow.

Conclusion

Why do parents always eat " closed doors " in the parent-child communication with their children? It is mainly because the parents have entered some communication misunderstandings, which makes the children reluctant to speak. Parents may wish to learn the above three communication skills, do not criticize the child too much, give the child a little more freedom, and open the child's heart.

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